Inside of school, I take the most challenging curriculum that I am able to comprehend, outside of school I en. Are you sure you want to delete this answer?
It is pretty good. The one thing that I see missing is leadership. The USN is looking for established leaders. You cannot teach that. I think you have the beginnings going in your 2nd statement, but I would expand on it. If you are the Captain, or a co-captain of the swim team or cross country team, then say so. What level did you attain as a boy scout? The Navy wants an established leader. Even if you are only good at one thing, be a leader in that one thing.
Discuss your reasons for wanting to become a Naval In 2 try self-discipline, rather than discipline. For the best answers, search on this site https: For example, while it's great that you mention your family in the military, you don't need to devote an entire paragraph to listing them and their rates.
Take out everything about "my motivations to write this essay" because it's redundant. You should also work on things like stronger construction and consistent voice. Finally, while I'm sure that you have been given a word count to work within, I'm mostly seeing indications that ROTC essays should be capped at words. This essay is over , which is much much too long.
It needs to be pared down and made a lot more concise. I ran through it and edited it, cutting out about half of the length without changing any of the meaning.
This is a good sign that it is much much too long. Here's my rough edit: I want to be the person that others look up to. I come from a hardworking family who believes in teaching their children respect, discipline, and earning what you deserve. I was taught to take responsibility for everything I do and figure out what I need to do in order to accomplish it.
My goals in wanting to become a naval officer are to serve my country, be a positive influence, and build a life for myself in the Navy. I want to serve my country because it has given me all the opportunities I have been fortunate to have. America is the greatest country to live in because it stands for democracy, human achievement, and freedom. That freedom is why millions of soldiers are serving. An estimated 54, are women serving in the Navy and only a little over are female officers.
I would be honored to be apart of that statistic. I come from a long background of family members who have served in the Navy. They have told me first hand the amount of pride they feel serving their country.
With my family relations and honor in serving in the Navy combined with my passion for higher learning, the path to a commission is clear to me.
Raised Catholic, I lead a life of morals and gratitude towards God. I believe God leads one to where they need to be, but it is up to that person to decide how they are going to overcome obstacles and become the leader people need. Playing softball and being Rugby team captain has taught me commitment, self discipline and duty. Physically demanding effort was expected from every player, teaching me to be strong and selfless, mindful of my teammates and responsible for my actions.
I understand when punishment is necessary and awards are deserved. Serving your country is not an option to me, it is necessary. I have demonstrated service through donating clothes to a local thrift, being a donor, or tutoring at my school. These small acts of positive influence lead me to find greater ways to serve my country. I want to strive to attain my personal best, and become the officer that the Navy needs.
Wanting to become a part of this group combined with my love and fascination with water and swimming can only result in a want to be a Naval officer. As much as wanting to benefit those around me and my whole country, I believe that the personal improvement I can get out of being a Naval officer vastly rivals that of any other direction I can take in life. Through stress and effort, being put into the position of leading and protecting fellow soldiers gives me the opportunity to improve myself to an extent that I could not imagine.
I feel that the Navy gives me a chance to change myself for the better, both in the short term and further down my life. When it comes down to it, the Navy is one of the most traditional and developed forms of excellence and service. It has existed for centuries and has been a part of every aspect of society, from classical ages to modern times.
It has been developed by experience and proves to be one the most professional, traditional, and proud institutions in the history of our nation and our world. Anyone have any comments, critiques, constructive criticisms? Are you sure you want to delete this answer? It sounds pretty good, but I think you might trim a bit of the stuff about how being an officer would be good for you, and add in more about what you offer the Navy.
You might emphasize some leadership roles you have held and highlight your specific skill set. I'd also trim down the stuff about how great you think the Navy is: People serving in the Navy or Marines are not referred to as soldiers! Change that to sailors or Marines. Don't forget that this is a job application more than anything else. You want to prove your dedication and your skill set. I got selected for Surface Warfare. I have a friend who joined the Army. He liked it at first, because it was not too hard.
After his first deployment, he quickly changed his mind about the Army. He started talking with people and was trying to get out of the Army. As soon as he encountered some difficulties and hardships, he wanted to leave the Army even before his contract ended.
Jun 29, · Hello everyone! In addition to applying for USMA and USNA, I'm also applying for an NROTC scholarship to keep my options open. I came across a little.
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thesis proposal sample format homework helper revolutionary war map help writing a compare and contrast essay. Oct 13, · I am applying for the NROTC Scholarship and would like any advice you have to offer on my two essay. 1. Discuss your reasons for wanting to become a Marine Officer. I desire to become a Marine Officer foremost to serve my country, there is no greater honor than serving your country as a Marine in the Corps. Secondly, becoming a Marine Officer will help me enhance myself both .
May 18, · Any tips for an NROTC scholarship essay? I need some help with my NROTC Scholarship Essay? More questions. How Long Does an NROTC Scholarship Essay Have to Be? Tips on writing a scholarship essay? Answer Questions. Advice On Military Marriage:)?Status: Resolved. Navy rotc essay help. Published by at September 11, Categories. Uncategorized; Tags. I think my social work teacher knows the way to my heart. 90% on my research paper counting 25% of my grade and cookies after the final. correcting mistakes essay. how to write a good literature review essay.